The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps theyre too old to do it.- Ann Bancroft. 206. When they get married, they almost always have a gross conversation over who left the toilet dirty. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle Read more in their lives too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that. And the quickest path, but not necessarily the right one, is to surrender. Wear it every day. you wouldnt have had if youd stayed single. This is a funny way of indicating that marriage is hard work to mend disagreements. Invitations Thank us later! Do not try to change your spouse. Pillow talk: When discussing serious topics in bed, always keep a fluffy pillow nearby for impromptu pillow fights to defuse tension. Amazing Tips & Themes For Your Magical Wedding. You do not pay a higher price. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. Marriage Advice Funny Quotes. QuotesGram Katharine Hepburn, I'm just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. #spousequotes. If you do it for nothingthats matrimony. Ann Landers, Honesty has ruined more marriages than infidelity. Charles McCabe, Second marriage: Another instance of the triumph of hope over experience. Samuel Johnson, To marry once is a duty, twice a folly, thrice is madness. Dutch proverb, Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin, I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. Sometimes, its going to be him who forgot to flush before leaving, and at other times its going to be her who forgot to drain it in a hurry to cook food! One piece of advice for a successful marriage - Keep her happy! Funny marriage advice quotes, tips, and funny advice for the groom or the bride on her wedding day are guaranteed to get your wedding guests giggling and help the wedding couple ease some pressure off them amidst all the wedding rigmarole. Play fortune teller: Every time your spouse makes an outrageous prediction or statement, put it in writing and store it for future reference nothing is more enjoyable than proving them wrong 10 years from now! Hilariously Bad Marriage Advice To Not Follow - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails Gifts Associate Editor, Viral Content, The Huffington Post. Shutterstock. This will avoid making her feel rushed, ensures that your wife looks amazing, and gives you time to relax. See additional information. Humor can help make a marriage last, and knowing how to make your partner laugh can go a long way. 11 Old-Fashioned Pieces Of Life Advice That Are Brilliant - Bustle